How do I? Why would I? Should I? Can I be a doula?
I know that becoming a doula isn’t going to be easy, and these questions drown me at times. So let me focus on the why before anything else.
My why, I spent a good majority of my young life trying to become a mother. At the ripe ole age of 19 I had my first chemical pregnancy. A positive pregnancy test to turn negative only 3 days later. It drove me to try harder and harder to replace that inner void that the lost pregnancy caused.
I was sad, and was completely devastated.
I went through 3 miscarriages between 21-23 years old, and was basically told by four different doctors that my chances of getting pregnant were less than 10%. My chance of getting pregnant and it making it full term alive were less than that. 3% to be exact.
I was determined that I was not going to adhere to that statistic. For hours, and months I researched and learned so much about my body in the process. By the time I was 24 (less than a year after my research) I became pregnant. I had a new obstetrician and I found a new love for doctors. He listened to me,and researched with me. He learned about me.
I wasn’t just another number on a sheet of paper!
How I always knew when I conceived and how long my cycles were. I explained my experience with checking my cervix and how it tilted and all sorts of medical science like stuff most women don’t know even exists with their body. He was impressed. The nurses were impressed. The staff looked at my experience as an anomaly. I was told I needed to hold fertility classes. “All women need to know these things about their reproductive system and fertility, they said”.
Fast forward too many miscarriages to count and 3 kids later, I feel like my calling keeps leaping out at me.
I have learned so much more than I ever expected. Luckily I was able to attend the birth of my adopted first daughter and helped coach her mom. Then almost 6 years later I have been blessed to coach my sister through her labor. This was an amazing experience because of our relationship or lack of one. The magic in the room was just utterly amazing!
So that is my why. To give to others the knowledge I have and be just a sprinkle on the cake of birth. I would be a small part but a magical one.
Now for the how,
This part won’t be as long because honestly I feel as though it is a personal choice. Some states such as mine do not require a special certification to label oneself as a doula. If you are in business for yourself, it is more of a preference.
I personally want to become certified to extend my knowledge base and to give myself a bit more of a credential background. When I took up photography I did not schedule a photo session before I got my credentials, whereas I know that some people do. Same difference in my opinion.
How do you become a doula?
Well you can wait and take an in person training which are only 1-2 classes per year, if you are lucky. Or you can choose to attend an online setting. This is where I am floating. I am choosing online for multiple reasons. Having 4 kids, 5 and under. I am a stay at home mom, and do not have the funds for a babysitter at this point.
Also I do not have the time to leave the house all day unless it would be for a birth itself in which I would find a sitter with the funds I accumulated from a client. You see this is what we have to add into the few when accepting clients. This is an on call type of job. I’m happy with that. So online it is.
Should I do this?
Well in my opinion I should. There is such a need for a doula in my community and the communities that surround me. It seems to be my calling and it’s a strong need so why not?
Well I struggle with this one. As I stated above I am a stay at home mom with 4 kids 5 and under. Is this possible? Can I just drop them off at any given moment? Will I be able to find a sitter at any given time? I do not have many friends or any at all if I’m being realistic because I am such an introvert. Which leads me to this point…
Can introverts do this type of job?
I feel like anyone can do anything that they set their minds to but it all comes down to self discipline. Believing in myself in a way I can be disciplined enough. Is it possible to get over my fear of going places alone? Can I open up and become more bubbly? Can I become less awkward?
After starting with my training, I am now having to think up some doula business names, I would love your input.
Are you a doula or have had one? I’d love to hear your stories.
I am not a doctor nor have had any medical training so any medical info ever provided in my posts is to be taken as informational and not as a diagnosis tool. Please refer to your doctor. Check out my full disclaimer here.